Free will and where i am headed with my life

we often subscribe to the idea that we do not have control and that something greater than us is always in control…..

popular Cinema such as the Matrix and inception examine this concept beautifully.

Why do we feel we are trapped ?

what is the law or superior entity that controls us ?

is it a law or the will of god ?

I saw a log drifting in the ocean today ,being tossed around by the waves and i felt like the ocean is a personification of this phenomenon.

I think of my life in a similar way. The fact that i lack control is concerning. If i were to give in what would be the point of life ?

how does one create meaning in this life ? what is the point of waking up each day if you lack control ? where is my life headed ????

Day after day i dive, i mess up repeatedly, i do well occasionally and i learn everytime yet i feel somewhere i am lacking somewhere i am not enough and that this is not what i want with life